Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
