its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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