just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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