My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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