And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
