Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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