We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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