he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i think i just lost a toe
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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