I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize