If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
