The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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