He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need a beard to bite.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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