I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
