You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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