used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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