If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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