I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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