so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
