i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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