Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
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How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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