I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize