Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she smelled like a LAN party
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
