I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
