How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The air taste purple.
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