I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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