woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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