Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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