So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
pray to the hookup gods
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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