Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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