i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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