Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
