they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
