Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
