doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
