Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
