You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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