"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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