You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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