Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
