The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Never let your siblings swipe right.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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