he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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