Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
