shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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