then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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