So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
