she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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