3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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