8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
