Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize