Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
