if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
