How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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