No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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