we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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