Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My penis needs a shock collar
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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