Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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